If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
