we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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