Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
