i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
