you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
