did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
