the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
