I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
