We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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