I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
