its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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