Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
