You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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