i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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