Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
