I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
