dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
