Dual....:-)
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
