fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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