I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize
