hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How does one acquire holy water?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
