doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
