you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
