Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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