We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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