Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
