doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
