she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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