Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
