Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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