I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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