i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
