Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
