Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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