yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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