Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
