I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
