the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
