It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
