You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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