So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
