I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
