just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
