no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
