I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
