Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
