all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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