Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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