I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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