brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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